I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
