The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
