I would go down on you faster than GM stock
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
