The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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