I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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