When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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