so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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