Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
