The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
