you have to choose: penises or morals?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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