Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
