Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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