We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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