I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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