i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I enjoy the company of your penis
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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