smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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