do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
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i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
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I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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