Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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