You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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