have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize