He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
ttyl tear gas
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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