I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Can you bring me the toilet please
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