he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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