i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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