I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize