My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
