you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
