Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just gargled with NyQuil
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
