im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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