I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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