why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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