i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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