i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
