Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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