I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
nutella sex= disaster
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?