Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?