I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
