i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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