So drunk its hurt
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
