pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize