I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
