i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
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