mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
