ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
