Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
