I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
