you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
