apparently the secret to your success is patron
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think weed is turning my hair brown
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
