there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
