Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
