The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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