Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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