listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
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