I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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