Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize