Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize