did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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