I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
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