Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
