Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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