Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
