I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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