why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
